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  • Looking for help researching - DV Shelter

    Well, I've decided that I am going to start building DV Shelters for men. One of my biggest problems right now is lack of information.

    So if anyone has information on regulations for DV Shelters either federal or Texas specific it would be really appreciated if you could point me in the right direction.
    Also, if you have any information about dare I hope government programs for DV shelters that would be helpful also.
    Information on non-profits would be helpful also.
    Also, actual male dv victim stories.
    Fund raising ideas, etc.

    I've been researching for like a week straight, I'm not in texas where i probably have this information sitting around so some extra fingers clicking on mouses would be extremely helpful. I've actually sent emails to some dv shelters and tried to call them, but yea they don't want competition for business.. even though I'm trying to build something for a group that they do not want to service.

  • #2
    where are you located? and are you able to fund this? or need funding?

    edit: i missread. you ARE in texas.

    so why not contact paul elam to start this? he might be able to promote you.
    Last edited by TheNarrator; 09-03-2017, 03:24 PM.
    Originally posted by MatrixTransform
    where were you before you put yourself last?
    Originally posted by TheNarrator
    Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

    Comment


    • #3
      Yea I'm in Texas, I'm in planning stage trying to get an idea what hoops I'm going to have to jump through right now.. I can fund part of it myself, but what i have in mind is going to be a lot larger then anything i could fund myself... One of the reasons I am asking for information and such is, I'm trying to put together a package that i can take with me while i try to drum up contributions from different sources... I can go in and talk all day about the subject, but people like to see what you are talking about before they will ever consider contributing. I'm pretty much figuring right now that I can build a 40 man facility for right between $200-300k admittedly I don't know if that large of a facility will be needed in a given city, that's something I'll have to figure out.. But if i can get 1 such facility operating with a surplus of income via contributions or other means, slowly building new ones in other cities will be an option. One idea I'm toying with would be a sort of self sustaining one, like build the facility and use some of the funds to start other business whose profits would support the shelter, perhaps employing some of the people staying in them, thus not only giving them shelter but giving them a job and the opportunity to help others that land in the same situation as them. Of course eventually I'll need volunteers to help.

      It is something I'm committed to, no matter how long it takes, just need to figure out my battle plan and get a start.

      I'll probably try to contact Paul once I have a sound plan in place.
      Last edited by Ironman; 09-04-2017, 05:20 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        i think you really need to look at

        A) the demand in any given area you might open
        B) the costs of running
        C) profits (which i think are non existent so not sure how you plan on funding future)
        Originally posted by MatrixTransform
        where were you before you put yourself last?
        Originally posted by TheNarrator
        Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

        Comment


        • #5
          A) Yea that's one of the first things I plan on researching once i get back to Texas. I know Dallas already has one, so I'll look at other areas.
          B) Cost I already have some figures on, just based on where I am located, which is probably more expensive then some of the major metro areas.
          C) Well if run off fundraising then future expansion would depend on excess, But I'm looking at one particular idea where I'd just open up an actual business providing services to the public and the profits from that would fund the shelter. Given that both would be run as non-profit organizations the tax benefits would help immensely. However, I'd have huge time demands running both the shelter and the business at the same time. I'm pretty sure i could get volunteers to help run the shelter side of things. But yea, that's where I am at, at this moment.

          I already know the business will work, I've put that leg work in as it's something I've been considering doing anyways. Just well when you have a nice comfy job already, you tend to not be so enthusiastic on making a change.
          Last edited by Ironman; 09-04-2017, 07:04 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            i would study how women's shelters are run and learn from them

            they dont hold that many women. its smaller scale..i think converting a house is smart.
            Originally posted by MatrixTransform
            where were you before you put yourself last?
            Originally posted by TheNarrator
            Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by TheNarrator View Post
              i would study how women's shelters are run and learn from them

              they dont hold that many women. its smaller scale..i think converting a house is smart.
              Well one thing I'm looking at is Oilfield Man camps, basically they've taken a large single wide something like 16x70 and turned it into 4 small apartments with separate showers and bathrooms. Can pick those up fairly cheap now. I saw a company with about 20 of them for sale. Was talking to a friend and he said he could move them for me for the cost of fuel.

              Anyways been banging my head against the wall on finding any useful information for 12 hours now, time for a break. This is actually frustrating, been trying to find people who have shared their stories in detail in the U.S. in order to build a presentation so I can show it is happening here. I'm finding stuff in the U.K. and Australia and Jamaica but not much here, it's like either men here in the U.S. are not telling their stories or it's getting censored somehow.
              Last edited by Ironman; 09-04-2017, 12:09 PM. Reason: addition

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Ironman View Post
                Well one thing I'm looking at is Oilfield Man camps, basically they've taken a large single wide something like 16x70 and turned it into 4 small apartments with separate showers and bathrooms. Can pick those up fairly cheap now. I saw a company with about 20 of them for sale. Was talking to a friend and he said he could move them for me for the cost of fuel.

                Anyways been banging my head against the wall on finding any useful information for 12 hours now, time for a break. This is actually frustrating, been trying to find people who have shared their stories in detail in the U.S. in order to build a presentation so I can show it is happening here. I'm finding stuff in the U.K. and Australia and Jamaica but not much here, it's like either men here in the U.S. are not telling their stories or it's getting censored somehow.
                It's not an easy thing for any man to come forward about. Just the simple stigma of being abused or bullied by anyone is hard for a man to open up about, when it's an intimate partner just makes the hard near impossible. Gay support groups might have better methods and information with more experience of dealing with IPV and DV. There's been a lot of harm done by all who force distance between gay men and straight men. Even if that isn't the demographic to be served homosexual men's groups might be more locally present and willing to share information. I think gay men when not under the influence of the fear and hate agenda of feminists, would be more inclined to have compassionate views towards all men. Many gay men have personal stories of abusive mothers.

                Canadian Association For Equality: http://equalitycanada.com

                Have been collecting information, and I think they connect into the US and might be able to put information your way, good to contact for general advice.

                Janice Fiamengo is another good potential source, I don't know how she's contacted but she has facebook and twitter, http://en.wikimannia.org/Janice_Fiamengo and does videos for Studio Brule on youtube.

                She's been collecting men's stories for some time, and has built up a collections she plans to publish. But since she's primarily does this for men's rights activism and her profession is English Literature professor, I would imagine she would give permission for you to use material for developing a men's shelter. I don't know when she plans to publish, but she would collect from a larger audience than just Canada. She'd also collect material using professional academic standards.

                Also check out Lara Stemple's research, she's done extensive work on female perpetration of violent and sexual abuse. Very high quality research and non partisan.
                https://www.law.ucla.edu/faculty/fac...lara-stemple/#!
                Last edited by voidspawn; 09-04-2017, 12:59 PM.
                "...especially when it comes to communication, it can be observed, if it is not a negotiation it's a war."
                Originally posted by menrppl2
                Can't live with em, life is great without them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ironman View Post
                  Well one thing I'm looking at is Oilfield Man camps, basically they've taken a large single wide something like 16x70 and turned it into 4 small apartments with separate showers and bathrooms. Can pick those up fairly cheap now. I saw a company with about 20 of them for sale. Was talking to a friend and he said he could move them for me for the cost of fuel.

                  Anyways been banging my head against the wall on finding any useful information for 12 hours now, time for a break. This is actually frustrating, been trying to find people who have shared their stories in detail in the U.S. in order to build a presentation so I can show it is happening here. I'm finding stuff in the U.K. and Australia and Jamaica but not much here, it's like either men here in the U.S. are not telling their stories or it's getting censored somehow.
                  but if your demand isnt this big it will be huge for nothing is my point.
                  Originally posted by MatrixTransform
                  where were you before you put yourself last?
                  Originally posted by TheNarrator
                  Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by TheNarrator View Post
                    but if your demand isnt this big it will be huge for nothing is my point.
                    Never said i wanted to get all of them =p

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by voidspawn View Post
                      It's not an easy thing for any man to come forward about. Just the simple stigma of being abused or bullied by anyone is hard for a man to open up about, when it's an intimate partner just makes the hard near impossible. Gay support groups might have better methods and information with more experience of dealing with IPV and DV. There's been a lot of harm done by all who force distance between gay men and straight men. Even if that isn't the demographic to be served homosexual men's groups might be more locally present and willing to share information. I think gay men when not under the influence of the fear and hate agenda of feminists, would be more inclined to have compassionate views towards all men. Many gay men have personal stories of abusive mothers.

                      Canadian Association For Equality: http://equalitycanada.com

                      Have been collecting information, and I think they connect into the US and might be able to put information your way, good to contact for general advice.

                      Janice Fiamengo is another good potential source, I don't know how she's contacted but she has facebook and twitter, http://en.wikimannia.org/Janice_Fiamengo and does videos for Studio Brule on youtube.

                      She's been collecting men's stories for some time, and has built up a collections she plans to publish. But since she's primarily does this for men's rights activism and her profession is English Literature professor, I would imagine she would give permission for you to use material for developing a men's shelter. I don't know when she plans to publish, but she would collect from a larger audience than just Canada. She'd also collect material using professional academic standards.

                      Also check out Lara Stemple's research, she's done extensive work on female perpetration of violent and sexual abuse. Very high quality research and non partisan.
                      https://www.law.ucla.edu/faculty/fac...lara-stemple/#!
                      Thank you, this will help i think.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You know.... Little ticked off, also think that if the MRHM etc is going to say something they might want to, oh I don't know make some phone calls and verify their information. Just spent 2 hours talking to 12 different shelter's in 4 different cities in Texas and an additional 3 in California that do in fact provide transitional housing for men, and have some staying at each one of them, so in other words every single one of them I called. While there does only appear to be 2 men's only shelters in the U.S. that's only because the two corresponding charities that also run family and women's shelters finally had enough male clients to justify building separate shelters. You all make it sound like a need isn't being met in your propaganda.

                        Just glad I've had experience with business before and believe in doing my due diligence, otherwise I would have wasted $100k of my own money. Just wasted like 10 days working on this 12-14 hours a day, worst part is now i need to go back to Texas pick up a $30,000 check and give it back to the generous person that donated it and apologize to him. So yea, next time you all are out writing articles and spreading propaganda, you know, check your facts first please.

                        Well that was a short trip down the rabbit hole. There is no red or blue pill, ton of propaganda on either side of the fence.
                        Last edited by Ironman; 09-05-2017, 06:00 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ironman View Post
                          You know.... Little ticked off, also think that if the MRHM etc is going to say something they might want to, oh I don't know make some phone calls and verify their information. Just spent 2 hours talking to 12 different shelter's in 4 different cities in Texas and an additional 3 in California that do in fact provide transitional housing for men, and have some staying at each one of them, so in other words every single one of them I called. While there does only appear to be 2 men's only shelters in the U.S. that's only because the two corresponding charities that also run family and women's shelters finally had enough male clients to justify building separate shelters. You all make it sound like a need isn't being met in your propaganda.

                          Just glad I've had experience with business before and believe in doing my due diligence, otherwise I would have wasted $100k of my own money. Just wasted like 10 days working on this 12-14 hours a day, worst part is now i need to go back to Texas pick up a $30,000 check and give it back to the generous person that donated it and apologize to him. So yea, next time you all are out writing articles and spreading propaganda, you know, check your facts first please.

                          Well that was a short trip down the rabbit hole. There is no red or blue pill, ton of propaganda on either side of the fence.
                          I think your lashing out unfairly here, people on this forum come from all over the world, no one claims to know about all locations but often finds similar experiences for their own location to many others. Firstly you were rapidly advised by a member to check for the need in your area, which you said you'd do.

                          Originally posted by TheNarrator View Post
                          i think you really need to look at

                          A) the demand in any given area you might open
                          B) the costs of running
                          C) profits (which i think are non existent so not sure how you plan on funding future)
                          You didn't ask anyone to do that for you, and it is a basic check to get simple stats: https://www.domesticshelters.org

                          I think you'd find people here assume you are doing it, especially when you say are going to.

                          Campaigning has been going on for 20 years plus, different results in different places. But there is no suspicion of wildly different patterns of DV. You've been told that support for gay males outstrips support for straight males. Have you checked if the support you are finding is actually targeted for gay males or predominantly used by gay males? Gay males and male victims of abuse by other males have had very different treatment by the mainstream media, government, charities/NGOs and academia compared to straight males.

                          You can find which states have support and which areas are basically black holes for support for any males here:
                          https://www.domesticshelters.org/sta...nce-statistics

                          However questions that get discussed in MHRM interested groups go far beyond just the availability of shelters, you will clearly find that males need help with rough sleeping and homelessness as being a bigger claim, that suicide prevention is the number one wanted action and lack of fairness in family court and divorce the most common problem. Often there is problem of straight males coming forward as abuse victims at the hands of a female. Shelter is one issue, but a male who leaves a violent home who has a job is going to sort out transitional accommodation himself and overriding concern is for the children he is separated from, and the rolling forward of financial and social problems that follow from his leaving a bad situation. He tends to know he's going to get blamed for things and that people will believe that blame because that is the assumed truth when it comes to straight males. You were advised to look more deeply into this issue, MHRM isn't a campaign to direct funding or spending on a problem but raise recognition of problems to levels that reflect actual incidence.

                          Here you can see one of the problems when discussing issues internationally:

                          US support Compared to Canadian
                          MaleSupportUS.jpg MaleSupportCanada.jpg
                          Are both countries going to have such massively different profiles of behaviour?

                          In Canada a male is massively more unlikely to be unable to find ANY support.

                          Anywhere in the west a gay male is going find more support than a straight male. I don't have figures they are not readily available because summaries don't divide the male stats by sexual orientation. Perpetration of violence by females upon males, follows a different victim behavioural pattern with a male victim far less likely to come forward. Yet the in depth research by Lara Stemple and others, including longitudinal studies show that the perpetration rates by females and males when all abuse categories are taken into account are basically equal. This isn't anti anyone propaganda, it's a simple statement that recognition of and support for male victims of female perpetrated DV is unequal to the problems faced, and that the study into the amount and types of support isn't being done in the cases of male victims. Only the gay community has been successfully influential in getting abuse patterns and matching support needed widely recognised across Western nations. That isn't a statement that there is zero support for men, but that that is low support in general and no support in many places for straight males. That is borne out from the data.

                          DV isn't an issue I've worked on directly on for some years, and I'm not DV campaigner and don't write articles or publish research. I participate here in discussions and share articles to discuss and data of interest. No propaganda agenda.

                          You've reached your own conclusions and views after making your calls, which help you decide on plans that you've come up with yourself. No one here has tried to push anything on you, merely suggested where to get additional information on the issue. I've said it before about this forum, as have others, it's open forum not central hub of MHRM planning, the participants here have often found their way here after finding no where else to discuss what they've experienced or witnessed. For most that is the sum total of it, they discuss a bit, share a bit and leave, others stay become regular posters and participate in a wide range of discussions. The forum is provided and maintained by a small number of people who entirely donate the time and resources for it to exist, and they don't do that as some central coordinating hub, they do it as a place to discuss, ask questions to peers, a stop gap when men and women find locally even in their own families there is no opportunity to discuss issues affecting men.
                          "...especially when it comes to communication, it can be observed, if it is not a negotiation it's a war."
                          Originally posted by menrppl2
                          Can't live with em, life is great without them.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by voidspawn View Post
                            I think your lashing out unfairly here, people on this forum come from all over the world, no one claims to know about all locations but often finds similar experiences for their own location to many others. Firstly you were rapidly advised by a member to check for the need in your area, which you said you'd do.



                            You didn't ask anyone to do that for you, and it is a basic check to get simple stats: https://www.domesticshelters.org

                            I think you'd find people here assume you are doing it, especially when you say are going to.

                            Campaigning has been going on for 20 years plus, different results in different places. But there is no suspicion of wildly different patterns of DV. You've been told that support for gay males outstrips support for straight males. Have you checked if the support you are finding is actually targeted for gay males or predominantly used by gay males? Gay males and male victims of abuse by other males have had very different treatment by the mainstream media, government, charities/NGOs and academia compared to straight males.

                            You can find which states have support and which areas are basically black holes for support for any males here:
                            https://www.domesticshelters.org/sta...nce-statistics

                            However questions that get discussed in MHRM interested groups go far beyond just the availability of shelters, you will clearly find that males need help with rough sleeping and homelessness as being a bigger claim, that suicide prevention is the number one wanted action and lack of fairness in family court and divorce the most common problem. Often there is problem of straight males coming forward as abuse victims at the hands of a female. Shelter is one issue, but a male who leaves a violent home who has a job is going to sort out transitional accommodation himself and overriding concern is for the children he is separated from, and the rolling forward of financial and social problems that follow from his leaving a bad situation. He tends to know he's going to get blamed for things and that people will believe that blame because that is the assumed truth when it comes to straight males. You were advised to look more deeply into this issue, MHRM isn't a campaign to direct funding or spending on a problem but raise recognition of problems to levels that reflect actual incidence.

                            Here you can see one of the problems when discussing issues internationally:

                            US support Compared to Canadian
                            [ATTACH=CONFIG]2246[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]2247[/ATTACH]
                            Are both countries going to have such massively different profiles of behaviour?

                            In Canada a male is massively more unlikely to be unable to find ANY support.

                            Anywhere in the west a gay male is going find more support than a straight male. I don't have figures they are not readily available because summaries don't divide the male stats by sexual orientation. Perpetration of violence by females upon males, follows a different victim behavioural pattern with a male victim far less likely to come forward. Yet the in depth research by Lara Stemple and others, including longitudinal studies show that the perpetration rates by females and males when all abuse categories are taken into account are basically equal. This isn't anti anyone propaganda, it's a simple statement that recognition of and support for male victims of female perpetrated DV is unequal to the problems faced, and that the study into the amount and types of support isn't being done in the cases of male victims. Only the gay community has been successfully influential in getting abuse patterns and matching support needed widely recognised across Western nations. That isn't a statement that there is zero support for men, but that that is low support in general and no support in many places for straight males. That is borne out from the data.

                            DV isn't an issue I've worked on directly on for some years, and I'm not DV campaigner and don't write articles or publish research. I participate here in discussions and share articles to discuss and data of interest. No propaganda agenda.

                            You've reached your own conclusions and views after making your calls, which help you decide on plans that you've come up with yourself. No one here has tried to push anything on you, merely suggested where to get additional information on the issue. I've said it before about this forum, as have others, it's open forum not central hub of MHRM planning, the participants here have often found their way here after finding no where else to discuss what they've experienced or witnessed. For most that is the sum total of it, they discuss a bit, share a bit and leave, others stay become regular posters and participate in a wide range of discussions. The forum is provided and maintained by a small number of people who entirely donate the time and resources for it to exist, and they don't do that as some central coordinating hub, they do it as a place to discuss, ask questions to peers, a stop gap when men and women find locally even in their own families there is no opportunity to discuss issues affecting men.
                            Voidspawn, you are extremely sincere and knowledgable in your replies, which is a lot more than I can say for this person that you are replying to. A person who has clearly come on this forum to make a feminist point and an angry, deceptive, irrational, illogical, false, empty one at that. A person who clearly is not who or what they claim to be. A person hiding behind the facade of someone interested in men's rights. A person who is nothing more than an immature, cowardly troll with ulterior motives.

                            Your conduct good sir speaks for what we stand for and his/her's for what he/she stands for.
                            Last edited by Equity; 09-10-2017, 12:32 AM.

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