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  • #16
    Originally posted by AgainstAllOdds View Post
    i separated two to three years ago. divorced now from an un-diagnosed BPD waif.

    but my daughter has been subjected to parental alienation and hostile to me all this time.

    i have tried for two years to get through to her and stayed calm through the attack and betrayals and the duplicity.

    so i have now cut all contact with her.

    i no longer have a daughter i am done!

    she is a 20 yo woman and she can go her own way without me.

    i am done and moving on.
    My daughter is 31. We went nearly 4 years without speaking at around the same age, in major part due to her mother deciding she knew what was best for her and the hurt divorce brings. My daughter came around eventually and we are much closer now. Keep the long game in mind, understand the ball is in her court and that the choices you have control over are whether to love her. It's OK to move on with your life and choose not to ride the emotional rollercoaster with a child who is not ready. Best wishes.
    ethikē aretē--phronesis--eudaimonia
    virtue of character--practical/ethical wisdom--human flourishing

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    • #17
      Perfect, GOM. You were not torn every day, distraught about the failure to have a relationship with her. Which is what some of these men do, and that is what this man seemed to indicate. And, in the end, it was up to her. Good job!!!

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      • #18
        thx PD and GOM. the pain and suffering i was going through had top stop.

        i was being abused by proxy as my uBPDexw was using her to get to me.

        I placed a line in the sand the abuse had to stop.

        it didnt it intensified and i have withdrawn from the relationship.

        it took me 30 years nearly to come out of denial about my mother, it may take my daughter a similar time
        train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

        to thine own self be true!

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        • #19
          still no contact.

          it is getting easier day at a time.

          coming to terms with the sacrifice for my family all these years meant nothing to them has been the hardest.

          pair of selfish entitled bitches!

          i am done.
          train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

          to thine own self be true!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by AgainstAllOdds View Post
            still no contact.

            it is getting easier day at a time.

            coming to terms with the sacrifice for my family all these years meant nothing to them has been the hardest.

            pair of selfish entitled bitches!

            i am done.
            The other day I got call from my twenty-something daughter with some very unexpected news:
            She's changed her family name to mine instead of her mothers'. Says she wants to express which family she thinks is the cool one.
            Things will still be going in the those li'l heads ... give it time ... I wish you all the best, in the mean time, and in the end.

            M

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Manalysis View Post
              The other day I got call from my twenty-something daughter with some very unexpected news:
              She's changed her family name to mine instead of her mothers'. Says she wants to express which family she thinks is the cool one.
              Things will still be going in the those li'l heads ... give it time ... I wish you all the best, in the mean time, and in the end.

              M

              That's good news.
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