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  • Microcheating

    Funny how as time goes by the issues get smaller and smaller... before it used to be violence, now it is microaggressions...

    Here is a new one... microcheatin... or how a control freak woman justify her tight grip on her man.

    33 Ways Your Boyfriend Is Micro-Cheating (And Totally Getting Away With It)

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/...b068764965b8a8

    1. Reaching out to a girl who’s “just a friend” for a recommendation or advice on an issue he could easily Google the answer to because he feels like bantering.

    2. Giving a waitress or a bartender an obscenely large tip just because she’s hot AF.

    3. Following a ton of hot girls on social media and beginning to feel like he actually knows them because he monitors their every post that closely.

    4. Sending someone who’s not his girlfriend something blatantly provocative, like an article about sex or the porn industry, because he thinks she’ll find it interesting or whatever.

    5. Logging a girl in his contacts folder under a code name to avoid detection when she call, texts, and emails.

    6. Tagging another girl in an Instagram that reminds him of her or references a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them.

    7. Obsessively checking another girl’s social media feeds and getting way more excited about the non-girlfriend’s posts than he does about his significant other’s.

    8. Confiding in or venting to someone other than his girlfriend when he’s feeling especially emotional because he craves the response he thinks he can only get from that other girl.

    9. Going out of his way to tell a woman he met or ran into the night before that she looked amazing or seems to be “doing really well.”

    10. Purposefully neglecting to mention his significant other in conversation with the friends and colleagues he interacts with regularly so that many of them actually think he’s single.

    11. Diminishing his relationship as “not that serious” when in fact he’s cohabiting and maybe even engaged.

    12. Outright denying that he’s in a relationship to extend the flirtatious exchange he’s enjoying with some random girl on the train or at a bar, even if he has no intention of trying to hook up with her.

    13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment.

    14. When something awesome happens to him and he chooses to share the good news with another woman first.

    15. Reaching out to an ex on a day that was once significant to them as a couple, like their anniversary or the day they first had sex.

    16. Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who’s not his girlfriend, like hook her up with tickets to a concert or a reservation just because.

    17. Telling another girl that he’s thinking about her on a day that’s not her birthday or a holiday.

    18. Worse yet, texting her “good morning” just to say good morning.

    19. Picking up the tab like it’s nbd when he’s out with someone who’s not his girlfriend because he wants to impress her or seem cool.

    20. Giving another girl a “hope certificate” (i.e. some degree of reassurance that he’ll be on the market soon) by insinuating that things are rocky between him and his girlfriend when they’re definitely not.

    21. Meeting up with another woman for dinner or a drink and insisting that it’s work related when asked by his significant other for context (and it’s not).

    22. Choosing to do something he knows his significant other would enjoy—like go for a bike ride, eat at a specific restaurant, or see a certain movie—with another woman, even when his girlfriend’s most likely available.

    23. Sending a photo to an ex that reminds him of a good time past because he feels like reliving that old memory temporarily.

    24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship.

    25. Recommending that his girlfriend starts wearing a certain type of clothing because he secretly wants her to look like the girl he’s kind of crushing on.

    26. Gifting his girlfriend with a bottle of the perfume his crush wears so she’ll smell like his latest fantasy chick.

    27. Keeping a piece of clothing that reminds him of an ex even though it’s definitely tattered or completely out of style.

    28. Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends because it makes him genuinely happy to talk about her.

    29. Downplaying a certain woman’s awesomeness whenever she’s mentioned around his significant other as if proactively doing damage control.

    30. Asking for a girl’s contact information under the guise of potentially working together even though he knows there isn’t a chance in hell they’ll be collaborating professionally.

    31. Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily.

    32. Spending all of his time engrossed in conversation with another woman at a party or event even though he brought his girlfriend as his date.

    33. Mindfully leaving his wedding ring at home when he heads out with the boys (not so much because he wants to get lucky, but just because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again).

  • #2
    AND YET the girls think it's ok to come onto other fellas - even when their own boyfriends are around.

    Was at the bar patio yesterday, had one flirting outrageously with me, looked bored as hell with her short-ass 5'4" mid-50's boyfriend, then we all introduce each other and within 15 minutes I'm getting 'play' punches/elbows, raising my attention not simply by tapping my arm lightly but putting a hand on my thigh and squeezing, deliberately calling me 'Jay' when I told her explicitly 3 x to call me JB or my real name. As more friends joined our table taking up space she grinded up on my side like we'd spent the whole morning fucking, despite the fact we'd known each other 45 damn minutes.

    Pretty hard to tell whether she was just super-friendly in general or deliberately trying to make her boyfriend feel inadequate, I suspect a bit of both. Time will tell. I played along with a bit of friendly mocking of her, and as we said our goodbyes told him I'd "lend him a whip to keep his little madam under control", she laughed but he gave me that, "Yeah dude you know I think I'll need it" face.
    >>"and in other news, the Judge in the case of AVFM Vs Feminazism ruled today that the creators of 'Gender Equality' are guilty of Intent to Obtain Social Change by Deception. The Feminazi case collapsed just one day into the trial, after a 1st year medical student demonstrated that men are not, in fact, equal to women".<<


    Newbie AVFM Member, 2 days in: "My eyes, why do my eyes hurt?"

    Jaybee, cautious tone: "You've never used them before".

    Comment


    • #3
      Let's see how many of these I agree with (out of boredom and curiosity).

      "1. Reaching out to a girl who’s “just a friend” for a recommendation or advice on an issue he could easily Google the answer to because he feels like bantering."
      Nope.

      "2. Giving a waitress or a bartender an obscenely large tip just because she’s hot AF."
      Kind of disrespectful, maybe. Definitely stupid.

      "3. Following a ton of hot girls on social media and beginning to feel like he actually knows them because he monitors their every post that closely."
      That's just kind of stalkery.

      "4. Sending someone who’s not his girlfriend something blatantly provocative, like an article about sex or the porn industry, because he thinks she’ll find it interesting or whatever."
      Nope.

      "5. Logging a girl in his contacts folder under a code name to avoid detection when she call, texts, and emails."
      OK, that is kind of suspicious. But could be warranted if the GF is overly jealous.

      "6. Tagging another girl in an Instagram that reminds him of her or references a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them."
      Nope

      "7. Obsessively checking another girl’s social media feeds and getting way more excited about the non-girlfriend’s posts than he does about his significant other’s."
      Debatable. Depends on the content of the posts. If GF's is "I bought a cookie. Cheating on diet, guilty as charged!" and social girl's posts are actually interesting then, nope.

      "8. Confiding in or venting to someone other than his girlfriend when he’s feeling especially emotional because he craves the response he thinks he can only get from that other girl."
      Depends on reason for emotion. If it's "hey, just had a kid" or "hey, mom just died" then, yeah, I can see this. If it's "My fave team just signed on my sports idol" then, Nope.

      "9. Going out of his way to tell a woman he met or ran into the night before that she looked amazing or seems to be “doing really well.”
      "Going out of his way" according to whom? If he flew halfway around the world to do so, yeah. If he took a lunch break 5 minutes early, nope.

      "10. Purposefully neglecting to mention his significant other in conversation with the friends and colleagues he interacts with regularly so that many of them actually think he’s single."
      Nope. It's called compartmentalization.

      "11. Diminishing his relationship as “not that serious” when in fact he’s cohabiting and maybe even engaged."
      OK, if they're engaged and he's calling their relationship, "Not that serious" then, yeah, that's shady and disrespectful.

      "12. Outright denying that he’s in a relationship to extend the flirtatious exchange he’s enjoying with some random girl on the train or at a bar, even if he has no intention of trying to hook up with her."
      Nope. Innocent flirtation is innocent.

      "13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment."
      Nope. Fantasies are not out of bounds.

      "14. When something awesome happens to him and he chooses to share the good news with another woman first."
      Depends. If he ran into that other woman first and he's just that excited, nope. If he passes up an opportunity to tell his GF just so he can tell that other woman, OK, I can see it.

      "15. Reaching out to an ex on a day that was once significant to them as a couple, like their anniversary or the day they first had sex."
      Depends on the ex and the occasion.

      "16. Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who’s not his girlfriend, like hook her up with tickets to a concert or a reservation just because."
      No, that's called being a good friend.

      "17. Telling another girl that he’s thinking about her on a day that’s not her birthday or a holiday."
      No, that's called being a good friend.

      "18. Worse yet, texting her “good morning” just to say good morning."
      See 16 & 17.

      "19. Picking up the tab like it’s nbd when he’s out with someone who’s not his girlfriend because he wants to impress her or seem cool."
      Nope.

      "20. Giving another girl a “hope certificate” (i.e. some degree of reassurance that he’ll be on the market soon) by insinuating that things are rocky between him and his girlfriend when they’re definitely not."
      Definitely not, according to whom? But, yes, disrespectful to the relationship. If things are rocky, your SO (gf or bf) deserves to know, up front. Ladies, no "hints" on this one.

      "21. Meeting up with another woman for dinner or a drink and insisting that it’s work related when asked by his significant other for context (and it’s not)."
      See #5.

      "22. Choosing to do something he knows his significant other would enjoy—like go for a bike ride, eat at a specific restaurant, or see a certain movie—with another woman, even when his girlfriend’s most likely available."
      Depends on certain other factors like gf's availability, for instance.

      "23. Sending a photo to an ex that reminds him of a good time past because he feels like reliving that old memory temporarily."
      Depends on the relationship with the ex. If it's out of the blue, suspicious. If they regularly chat then, no.

      "24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship."
      No, this happens between friends.

      "25. Recommending that his girlfriend starts wearing a certain type of clothing because he secretly wants her to look like the girl he’s kind of crushing on."
      OK, that is a little creepy. Or it could be good fantasy fulfillment. Depends on situation, conditions, and perspective.

      "26. Gifting his girlfriend with a bottle of the perfume his crush wears so she’ll smell like his latest fantasy chick."
      That's basically #25 but going a little far in my opinion.

      "27. Keeping a piece of clothing that reminds him of an ex even though it’s definitely tattered or completely out of style."
      Most guys don't care about fashion so that's a moot point. I would also consider "tattered" to be moot as that's how I'd describe some of my favorite shirts that my wife is always wanting to throw out. Women hang on to stuff from ex's all the time. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Deal. Oh, Nope.

      "28. Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends because it makes him genuinely happy to talk about her."
      Nope.

      "29. Downplaying a certain woman’s awesomeness whenever she’s mentioned around his significant other as if proactively doing damage control."
      Nope. Especially if gf is jealous as fuck.

      "30. Asking for a girl’s contact information under the guise of potentially working together even though he knows there isn’t a chance in hell they’ll be collaborating professionally."
      OK, that's suspicious and I can see how it could be construed as disrespectful.

      "31. Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily."
      No such thing as "unnecessarily" in this situation. It's called a social courtesy aka good manners. Nope.

      "32. Spending all of his time engrossed in conversation with another woman at a party or event even though he brought his girlfriend as his date."
      Is it a social gathering or a work party? If it's work related, then nope. If it's just a social gathering I can see the issue here.

      "33. Mindfully leaving his wedding ring at home when he heads out with the boys (not so much because he wants to get lucky, but just because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again)."
      lol If he has to do this to feel like getting lucky is in the realm of possibility for him again then that means the gf hasn't been putting out and for a longer duration than he finds acceptable. This is a situation of the GF's making. Ladies, want to keep this from happening. Give it up even at times when you don't feel like it. It's a partnership. Give and take needs to happen. This is him reminding himself of what it's like to be single. This is actually a major red flag. Time to do some self reflecting to make sure it isn't your behavior that's raising it. After all, "because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again" is your department to take care of, as the SO. Now, sure, he may not be a guy who can deal with LTR and he's getting antsy. That's a possibility. But this isn't "microcheating" this is a blatant red flag. I'm going to have to call nope on this one too, but due to it being mislabeled.



      To sum, some of this is legit causes for concern. But the majority of it is just jealous girlfriends being jealous girlfriends. Ladies, get your shit in check or check yourself out of the relationship. It's not our job to coddle you until you feel like letting go of your issues (if you even ever do). Guys, be aware of the fact that the girl has issues and if you agree to sign on anyway, you kind of are obliged to help deal with those issues. Ladies, that doesn't mean he's obliged to do so forever. There is a time limit on this, his patience.

      Obligatory disclaimer. Yes, the roles can easily be reversed in this and it could be a jealous bf doing this stuff. But the article was written from the perspective of the gf so that's what I went with.
      Last edited by JamesNunya; 04-23-2017, 01:46 PM.

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