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Father and Daughters - Lessons from Sigmund Freud

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  • Father and Daughters - Lessons from Sigmund Freud

    I ran across this looking for something else, and really found it profoundly insightful. I imagine the same can be said too for mothers and their sons, since we all have deep yearnings to be loved and accepted by our parents.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-and-daughters
    Last edited by Deidre; 04-25-2017, 12:42 PM.

  • #2
    I also found this video (NAWALT) extremely insightful about the role of fathers in the development of more "NAWALT-like" women - FWIW.
    "De-polarize women and re-moralize men." - Me

    Comment


    • #3
      Only know Freud by name, so I glanced at the article. I don't know about deep psychology though, especially after I found out that psychology majors are a bit .. crazy? Lol.

      Psychology's fine and we all integrate it when we think about things, but I think what ruined it is "institutional psychology," in which many patients get treated inhumanely due to rigid rules established by institutions. But then again, institutions ruin everything :-)

      Anyway, I like this topic and think that it has more to do with natural wisdom in many parents, or wisdom that is acquired in others, rather than with having to read psychology as a rule.

      I think my dad's method is similar to what the article suggests in the most part, but then again he is that way by nature. He treats girls differently from boys, or daughter vs. sons in this case, but everyone's a winner in the end. But yeah, there's definitely variations when it comes to genders, and mom's the same way too.

      Dad's main principle when it comes to daughters is to show them you love them endlessly and by doing that, they won't seek love elsewhere, especially in the wrong place or at the wrong time. I know his method works because I don't really see any other man but him. And it's not like a trick or anything because he does love us all very dearly, and he communicates love so easily. It's just that with daughters, he believes they need love more than anything else, and that everything else will fall into its rightful place once this is established. So it's more than protection with dads, and many of his friends have taken his advice with their daughters and were surprised over the results.

      Piggy backing offa what you said about moms, I think they take it easier on boys, more lenient and loving. Mom's harsh on girls, dad's strict with boys. This type of gender relationships also allows daughters to be caring towards brothers while they in turn appreciate the "softer" nature of the women within the household and expect that later in life. I believe these are roles we are born into but that it's up to the family to nurture them to their full potential.

      But with dad it's all about love. I'd walk into the living room after having a bad day, see him reading the newspaper, say hello and sit across from him on the couch and pretend to watch tv. And although I would look completely normal, he'd know something was up. So he just sits there, looking at me, smiling. And I'm thinkin "Please don't ask me anything," cuz I know what would happen if he did. And as soon as he says "What's the matter honey?" .. the tears start streaming down. Then for some reason, he laughs .. I don't know why he does that but he laughs at me every time. But then he opens his arms and goes "C'mere Dee." He hugs and tells me how strong I am .. and he's great at making people feel warm and loved.

      To me, dad represents love, and love is pretty powerful; it overwhelms you .. and you feel completely swept away. I think this is essential with daughters.

      It's interesting how the gospel associates God with Father. It's always "Our Heavenly Father," or similar phrases like that. The meaning behind this is powerful even within a literary sense. If he exists, God isn't really the father of anyone, nor are fathers gods of any kind. But what does make this statement powerful is its portrayal of parenthood as something sacred, with an immense effect on children and society, and as something never to be taken lightly. Different scriptures from all over the world have stated almost the exact same concept, despite regional differences. Thought it interesting how all scripture awards such an elevated rank to both god and parents.

      Comment


      • #4
        interesting article, unfortunately i am alienated though parental alienation. this means my daughter is suffering and a source of narcissistic supply fopr my uBPDex.
        train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

        to thine own self be true!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by AgainstAllOdds View Post
          i am alienated though parental alienation.
          yeap, a few of us here know about that too.
          "Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one" - Charles Mackay

          And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. - Donne

          "What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: 'I am a wretchedly longstanding victim; therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition.'
          "It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised." - Gladden Schrock

          "What remains for most men in modern life is a world of expectation without reward, burden without honor and service without self" - Paul Elam

          Comment


          • #6
            I did some research and posted a blog last year about parental alienation, it was sadly eye opening for me because I had no idea that mothers could just make shit up about theirs kids' fathers in order to gain custody. I mean, I knew that it happened but not at the levels it's happening. Kids are growing up without knowing their dads and it's a huge problem.

            Comment


            • #7
              "Sometimes a Cigar is just a Cigar" - Sigmund Freud
              "...but when she goes off you, she will not just walk away, she will walk away with your fucking skin in a jar." ~~ DoctorRandomercam
              "The laws of man, they don't apply when blood gets in a woman's eye" - The Black Keys

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Deidre View Post
                I did some research and posted a blog last year about parental alienation, it was sadly eye opening for me because I had no idea that mothers could just make shit up about theirs kids' fathers in order to gain custody. I mean, I knew that it happened but not at the levels it's happening. Kids are growing up without knowing their dads and it's a huge problem.
                even living together i was alienated. i couldn't work out why i couldn't get close. now i know she played the victim and blamed me. she uses my daughter for narcissistic supply.

                she blames me for leaving but i was driven out of a small community by her mothers lies.

                my daughter dosn't want to discuss the truth now!
                train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

                to thine own self be true!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by AgainstAllOdds View Post
                  even living together i was alienated. i couldn't work out why i couldn't get close. now i know she played the victim and blamed me. she uses my daughter for narcissistic supply.

                  she blames me for leaving but i was driven out of a small community by her mothers lies.

                  my daughter dosn't want to discuss the truth now!
                  My heart breaks for you and your daughter, she will be greatly affected by you not being in her life especially when she learns the truth that your ex is the reason why. :/

                  Your story is inspiring that you didn't let it break your spirit!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dee View Post
                    Only know Freud by name, so I glanced at the article. I don't know about deep psychology though, especially after I found out that psychology majors are a bit .. crazy? Lol.

                    Psychology's fine and we all integrate it when we think about things, but I think what ruined it is "institutional psychology," in which many patients get treated inhumanely due to rigid rules established by institutions. But then again, institutions ruin everything :-)

                    Anyway, I like this topic and think that it has more to do with natural wisdom in many parents, or wisdom that is acquired in others, rather than with having to read psychology as a rule.

                    I think my dad's method is similar to what the article suggests in the most part, but then again he is that way by nature. He treats girls differently from boys, or daughter vs. sons in this case, but everyone's a winner in the end. But yeah, there's definitely variations when it comes to genders, and mom's the same way too.

                    Dad's main principle when it comes to daughters is to show them you love them endlessly and by doing that, they won't seek love elsewhere, especially in the wrong place or at the wrong time. I know his method works because I don't really see any other man but him. And it's not like a trick or anything because he does love us all very dearly, and he communicates love so easily. It's just that with daughters, he believes they need love more than anything else, and that everything else will fall into its rightful place once this is established. So it's more than protection with dads, and many of his friends have taken his advice with their daughters and were surprised over the results.

                    Piggy backing offa what you said about moms, I think they take it easier on boys, more lenient and loving. Mom's harsh on girls, dad's strict with boys. This type of gender relationships also allows daughters to be caring towards brothers while they in turn appreciate the "softer" nature of the women within the household and expect that later in life. I believe these are roles we are born into but that it's up to the family to nurture them to their full potential.

                    But with dad it's all about love. I'd walk into the living room after having a bad day, see him reading the newspaper, say hello and sit across from him on the couch and pretend to watch tv. And although I would look completely normal, he'd know something was up. So he just sits there, looking at me, smiling. And I'm thinkin "Please don't ask me anything," cuz I know what would happen if he did. And as soon as he says "What's the matter honey?" .. the tears start streaming down. Then for some reason, he laughs .. I don't know why he does that but he laughs at me every time. But then he opens his arms and goes "C'mere Dee." He hugs and tells me how strong I am .. and he's great at making people feel warm and loved.

                    To me, dad represents love, and love is pretty powerful; it overwhelms you .. and you feel completely swept away. I think this is essential with daughters.

                    It's interesting how the gospel associates God with Father. It's always "Our Heavenly Father," or similar phrases like that. The meaning behind this is powerful even within a literary sense. If he exists, God isn't really the father of anyone, nor are fathers gods of any kind. But what does make this statement powerful is its portrayal of parenthood as something sacred, with an immense effect on children and society, and as something never to be taken lightly. Different scriptures from all over the world have stated almost the exact same concept, despite regional differences. Thought it interesting how all scripture awards such an elevated rank to both god and parents.

                    That is a great story, Dee. That's the way I feel about my own kids.
                    FEMINISM is a HATE GROUP - Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE
                    It's time to call it out for what it is.
                    == REJECT FEMINISM. EMBRACE HUMANITY ==


                    The World of Men - Men's Rights / MGTOW / Sites of Interest to Men
                    http://forums.avoiceformen.com/showt...nterest-to-Men

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Deidre View Post
                      My heart breaks for you and your daughter, she will be greatly affected by you not being in her life especially when she learns the truth that your ex is the reason why. :/

                      Your story is inspiring that you didn't let it break your spirit!
                      everything i have been through nothing has ever broken me. maybe it should and i should have brokedown long ago. but that was not my role. mine was to stay strong and take the pain. its what we are supposed to do lol.
                      train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

                      to thine own self be true!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I counseled over 1600 divorced men. I did not find that the alienated kids learned their mom was a fiend. Nope, at best an uneasy peace. Too many lies for them to simply work past them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          If the damage is done at an early enough age, that would make sense, polite_disagreement. So sad. It should be illegal for a parent to alienate the other parent, but sadly, the courts are in on this, too.

                          ETA, just so you all know, I tried to edit the title of the thread ...it should read ''fathers'' with an 's.' Ugh, hate when I make mistakes like that. >.<
                          Last edited by Deidre; 04-27-2017, 02:45 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Deidre View Post
                            If the damage is done at an early enough age, that would make sense, polite_disagreement. So sad. It should be illegal for a parent to alienate the other parent, but sadly, the courts are in on this, too.

                            ETA, just so you all know, I tried to edit the title of the thread ...it should read ''fathers'' with an 's.' Ugh, hate when I make mistakes like that. >.<

                            Interesting avatar. She seems somewhat apprehensive or maybe fearful of something.
                            FEMINISM is a HATE GROUP - Feminists are HATEFUL PEOPLE
                            It's time to call it out for what it is.
                            == REJECT FEMINISM. EMBRACE HUMANITY ==


                            The World of Men - Men's Rights / MGTOW / Sites of Interest to Men
                            http://forums.avoiceformen.com/showt...nterest-to-Men

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Deidre View Post
                              If the damage is done at an early enough age, that would make sense, polite_disagreement. So sad. It should be illegal for a parent to alienate the other parent, but sadly, the courts are in on this, too.

                              ETA, just so you all know, I tried to edit the title of the thread ...it should read ''fathers'' with an 's.' Ugh, hate when I make mistakes like that. >.<
                              the damage was done from day one. i was portrayed as the bad guy. my friends daughters think i am wonderful a kind caring considerate guy that helps them with there issues and installs confidence. they love me to bits. i tried so hard but she would push me away. i now know why.

                              but Deidre why are you so hard on yourself. you write some wonderful pieces and yet a missing s can knock you and cause you to apologise.

                              i have given up the pursuit of perfection in pursuit of living my life. i reached a pinnacle in my career and my life came crashing down. achieving perfection does nothing really.
                              train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose Yoda

                              to thine own self be true!

                              Comment

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