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Is My Wife, a Feminist, Testing Me When She Asks to Be Dominated in Bed?

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  • Is My Wife, a Feminist, Testing Me When She Asks to Be Dominated in Bed?

    Guy send letter to an expert, as he have being indoctrinated into the idea that dominant men are evil... but his wife kind of like dominant men... so... he is confused about what to do...

    He even thinks the wife is testing him to see if he come out as dominant hence evil... LOL

    Dear How to Do It,

    I am having a hard time reconciling my wife’s feminism with her desire to be dominated and submissive. My wife is a very attractive woman who doesn’t suffer chauvinism or objectification. Her strength of character, and fearlessness to confront an unequal power structure, is one of the characteristics that I love about her. As she has been able to advance professionally, she has become even more confident, which only increases my desire for her.

    I have been finding myself confused, however, because while she will not tolerate being objectified by anyone in public and is very adamant about her agency, in private she wants me to be quite aggressive and seems willing to be very submissive. I find myself acting with great skepticism during sex, as though she’s testing me and that if I actually do become more physical, that I will have failed this test and ruin our relationship, which has lasted for 18 years so far. This results in sex that is fine, but I feel could be so much better for both of us if I’m confident I am giving her the kind of sexual experience she actually wants and not just tolerates.

    While I know that submissive desires are normal and common sexual behavior, I am wondering if it is common for such adamant feminism to coincide or run parallel with a clear and strong submissive desire? Is this perhaps a specific category that I need to look into?
    I am not going to bother with the answer they gave him... I am just going to say the woman is doing it wrong she needs to get a boyfriend besides this husband...

  • #2
    It's actually pretty funny.

    You can't tell whether he's uncomfortable because he thinks if he slaps her around she's going to turn on him and use it against him, or if he's just been programmed with the "you never hit a woman" thing so deeply that he basically feels like he's abusive.

    I wouldn't say she "should" get a boyfriend, but I can pretty much promise if she meets a guy who she thinks will give her what she's asking for (essentially she wants to feel like she drives him so crazy that he can't control himself), she's going to cheat.
    "...but when she goes off you, she will not just walk away, she will walk away with your fucking skin in a jar." ~~ DoctorRandomercam
    "The laws of man, they don't apply when blood gets in a woman's eye" - The Black Keys