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  • Women's Network Fundraising

    I'm a little annoyed and I'm not sure what, if any stance I should take.

    At my job, the company as a "Women's Network". That group is putting on a small event in October. I think it's partly a "social event" for people at the company, but they're also using it to raise money for a domestic violence shelter.

    I went to check out the shelter's site and bam:



    For those who don't recognize this, this is the Duluth Model. Particularly the "Male Privilege" thing aggravates me. Basically it's hard for men to be victims because they have "institutional power".

    I looked around a little more. Their initial website is worded in a very gender neutral way, but if you look a little closer they definitely subscribe to the idea that interpersonal violence is predominately a woman's problem. They have articles about "manning up" and "studies" that only focus on men as batterers.

    I kind of want to make a stink about it, but I'm not sure I really want to expose myself in that way. I'm pretty skeptical that any good could come from it.

    One thought I had was to reply to the Women's Organization that "I can't participate in raising money for a sexist organization".

    Another was to go to the event with the statistics that show interpersonal violence happens at close to equal rates. That would still be participating in raising money for that shelter though. I mean ostensibly I don't care if they get some money and protect women. It's not bad that they're protecting women, but I don't appreciate that they view the issue and publicize it with such a slant. (I think they said it's 90% men and 10% women committing violence, even though my understanding is that it's largely equal and many times mutual).

    Any opinions?
    "...but when she goes off you, she will not just walk away, she will walk away with your fucking skin in a jar." ~~ DoctorRandomercam
    "The laws of man, they don't apply when blood gets in a woman's eye" - The Black Keys

  • #2

    Don't shit where you eat.

    Comment


    • #3
      My favorite part is under "Using Male Privilege" The description reads: Treating him/her like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the "master of the castle", being the one to define men's and women's roles.

      So, the part where it says "Treating him/her" acknowledges that women do this to. But, apparently, no matter who's doing it, it's male privilege. Didn't know women had male privilege but, ok.....


      ETA

      "Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases. Reciprocity was associated with more frequent violence among women but not men. Regarding injury, men were more likely to inflict injury than were women, and reciprocal intimate partner violence was associated with greater injury than was nonreciprocal intimate partner violence regardless of the gender of the perpetrator."

      https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2005.079020

      Let's look at that again. "In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases" and in reciprocal it's 50/50.

      That's from self reporting, btw. The reason other stats exist is because they come from arrest records and the like. But with mandatory arrest laws targeting men and our court systems being more sexist against men than they are racist against blacks, it's understandable that arrest/conviction stats are going to be skewed.

      https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinf...sparities.aspx

      However, for your personal situation, I believe dubs summed it up quite nicely.
      Last edited by JamesNunya; 09-14-2018, 12:44 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mifune View Post
        Any opinions?
        Opinions? You've come to the right place.


        Opinion number one is seconding the notion that you shouldn't piss in your own well. Repercussions may prove dire.


        Opinion number two is that taking on the role of opponent is not likely to garner you any laurels.
        You'd have to stick your neck out, giving reasons and explanations, your success depending on other people agreeing with you.
        All your opponents need to do to make you lose is simply not agreeing - you've put all your power in their hands.
        All they need to do to punish you is to declare that you are the enemy of women and the defender of wife-beaters.
        Down the drain you go, into the well you just pissed in.


        Opinion number three is that you might, on the quiet, establish a "men's network" (perhaps under some other name ...),
        and find some charity to support, and hold your own social event.

        It's probably hard to find a purely pro-men charity, and you might have to settle for something ungendered;
        otoh that may prove to be of tactical utility.

        Now it is other people who have to stick their neck out, giving reasons and explanations in case they want to oppose you.
        In your defense you can gently remind people that it is time that men took part in the struggle for equality, and that the fight for equality is not a zero-sum game ...
        Or even quote Emma Watson's invitation to become feminist allies, and you're just doing your part
        Also, you can point to your charity not being for men exclusively (if that should end up being the case), showing that you are not "anti-woman" etc.


        Of course I don't know if circumstances will allow any such camapign as laid out above. Those are, nevertheless, my opinions.
        And I can see that they are not 'pure' in their anti-feminism, which may be important if you see the fighting itself as more important than winning;
        however, I try to look for any solution that allows for action, and, possibly, puting one over on the opposing team.

        Anyway, Manspeed to you in your endeavours. And stay safe.

        M



        Comment


        • #5
          I would ask them if "we can't do more" for children who are abused by their mothers.
          ~~~ PEr aRDUa ad asTrA ~~~
          (through adversity to the stars)

          Comment


          • #6

            The best way to promote MRA values in the world is as follows :

            1. Redpill your buddies.

            2. Promote an economic agenda of old-school thrift, minimizing tax payments to bloated governments, their cronies in the fake news network and the deep state.

            3. Short your Google stock or anything owned by Jeff Bezos.

            4. Support the broader pantheon of conservative ideas according to your conscience and understanding.

            5. Avoid "alt right" and White Nationalist bullshit, don't let them lump us together as "the far right." Promote common-sense inclusivity, plurality and moderation. Seek the middle path.

            6. Learn game but don't be shallow about it. Gain experience dating, gain experience in relationships. Try to see the better side of women. It's very easy to fall into a dark pit of despair. Your best defense is view dating as NOT a "sex = success" but to view just being out there, enjoying a woman's company as success in itself. In other words the goal is not to get laid. The goal is to go out and just enjoy the woman with her clothes on. If sex falls on top of your head, that's fine but don't make it your agenda. Your agenda is to be out in public with a nice lady and have a fun time together. If you talk to most incels, they claim they can't get laid. But when is the last time they had lunch with a woman? Once, 2 years ago? If you're a man in his prime in dating mode, you should be having lunch/dinner with a woman at least once a week, possibly 3x a week. And I'm not talking about a fancy french restaurant for a $150 dinner, it could just be a coffee at Starbucks or share a plate of disco fries at a 3am diner.

            7. View MGTOW not as "I vow to shun women" but more of a "male spirituality," a time to prioritize yourself and take care of yourself. Maybe you're heartbroken, maybe you're down on the whole dating thing. The life of a man can be a lonely business, but it's totally cool to just fly solo, have the clicker all to yourself and focus on the fundamentals. Maybe go take a vacation by yourself and just relax and unwind. A really good thing is to learn to cook and make yourself home cooked meals, whole foods, vegetables, meats and stews. Get a slow cooker and throw meat and veg in there with a bit of water. My dinner tonight was pork chops with collared greens and black eye peas, the whole meal cost $2 and the other half of it is sitting downstairs. Last night I had beef stew that simmered in the slow cooker for 12 hours. Next week I'm making chicken kebabs. I'll make big batches of food, take one portion to eat and stick the rest in the fridge, heat em up for the next 2-3 days. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. MGTOW. Like I said, it's male spirituality. Or "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance." Protip : Get a dog.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dubs View Post
              ...
              5. Avoid "alt right" and White Nationalist bullshit, don't let them lump us together as "the far right." Promote common-sense inclusivity, plurality and moderation. Seek the middle path.

              6. Learn game but don't be shallow about it. Gain experience dating, gain experience in relationships. Try to see the better side of women. It's very easy to fall into a dark pit of despair. Your best defense is view dating as NOT a "sex = success" but to view just being out there, enjoying a woman's company as success in itself. In other words the goal is not to get laid. The goal is to go out and just enjoy the woman with her clothes on. If sex falls on top of your head, that's fine but don't make it your agenda. Your agenda is to be out in public with a nice lady and have a fun time together. If you talk to most incels, they claim they can't get laid. But when is the last time they had lunch with a woman? Once, 2 years ago? If you're a man in his prime in dating mode, you should be having lunch/dinner with a woman at least once a week, possibly 3x a week. And I'm not talking about a fancy french restaurant for a $150 dinner, it could just be a coffee at Starbucks or share a plate of disco fries at a 3am diner.

              7. View MGTOW not as "I vow to shun women" but more of a "male spirituality," a time to prioritize yourself and take care of yourself. Maybe you're heartbroken, maybe you're down on the whole dating thing. The life of a man can be a lonely business, but it's totally cool to just fly solo, have the clicker all to yourself and focus on the fundamentals. Maybe go take a vacation by yourself and just relax and unwind. A really good thing is to learn to cook and make yourself home cooked meals, whole foods, vegetables, meats and stews. Get a slow cooker and throw meat and veg in there with a bit of water. My dinner tonight was pork chops with collared greens and black eye peas, the whole meal cost $2 and the other half of it is sitting downstairs. Last night I had beef stew that simmered in the slow cooker for 12 hours. Next week I'm making chicken kebabs. I'll make big batches of food, take one portion to eat and stick the rest in the fridge, heat em up for the next 2-3 days. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. MGTOW. Like I said, it's male spirituality. Or "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance." Protip : Get a dog.
              Excellent advice there. Feminists will make U out to be "alt -right white supremacist Nazis" with great gusto.

              Friend-zoning all the women U meet from the start is a good principle, but too many trusting young men have their lives entirely destroyed by women who unpredictably can turn on them... e.g. unrequited love, resentment, attempts to use you, feminist solidarity... be on the look-out for signs and if they express such inclinations make sure to have a hidden voice recorder running whenever U interact with them while U gradually cool the relationship, so as not to trigger them into their vendetta mode.

              Personally I choose to be the MGTOW monk and enjoy my solitude and own company... but then my situation is slightly different from that of most men.
              ~~~ PEr aRDUa ad asTrA ~~~
              (through adversity to the stars)

              Comment


              • #8
                Are you required to attend this event? Is it during normal working hours? If it is during normal working hours, are there any personal appointments that you could schedule during that time? Could you just take the day off?

                As for donating money, I'd say that I already have my plan for charitable giving in place. But you'd of course need to adjust that message based on what you know of your coworkers. My coworkers would let it go at that, although there would probably be some chatter in certain cliques. I've worked at other places where my coworkers probably would have tried to push me on it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by WontStepUp View Post
                  Are you required to attend this event? Is it during normal working hours? If it is during normal working hours, are there any personal appointments that you could schedule during that time? Could you just take the day off?

                  As for donating money, I'd say that I already have my plan for charitable giving in place. But you'd of course need to adjust that message based on what you know of your coworkers. My coworkers would let it go at that, although there would probably be some chatter in certain cliques. I've worked at other places where my coworkers probably would have tried to push me on it.
                  During normal working hours. The event is absolutely voluntary. No one will even notice if I don't show up. No will notice if I do show up.

                  It's really an easy thing to ignore. It's just I might have otherwise participated in it, if the funds weren't dedicated to an explicitly anit-male organization.

                  Well, that and I'm afraid that if they have any information from the domestic violence organization at the event then it's likely to present biased and inaccurate information. What really stood out to me was that they claimed that domestic violence is 80/20 male initiated. I'm sure they completely ignore the large percentage that is essentially mutual.
                  "...but when she goes off you, she will not just walk away, she will walk away with your fucking skin in a jar." ~~ DoctorRandomercam
                  "The laws of man, they don't apply when blood gets in a woman's eye" - The Black Keys

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Due to the growing negative publicity surrounding feminism and gender-neutral laws being introduced in many countries classifying discrimination as a crime, feminism and its proponents have been forced to become a lot more careful in promoting their ideas. A feminist can no longer call men "pigs" unless that feminist wants to wind up in jail. A feminist organization can no longer openly discriminate against men because such actions now have legal consequences. We no longer live in the 60s, a time where feminists could set up openly misandric, gynocentric organizations encouraging women not only to blame problems on men but encourage male murder and genocide with little or no consequence (Valerie Solanas). The law in many countries no longer allows this to happen. They have been forced to become a lot more covert.

                    Mifune, I highly recommend you don't make a 'fuss' about this. If you did decide to make your opinions known, make sure you make a record of anything and everything and don't kick up a fuss alone. I recommend you find yourself people that are willing to join you in your endeavor. These sort of things, no matter how trivial they seem to you now, have the potential to destroy your life. I'm speaking out of a personal experience in doing what you are attempting to do here. My life was/is turned upside down.

                    I do not recommend you send them a message stating they are sexist or go debating statistics with them. There is little to gain from doing this and a lot to lose. These sort of actions can be used against you in the future. "This guy hates women. He is a sexist" "He criticised that women's group". You have to be very careful in what you say and how you say it. This is a very sensitive issue. Everything you say and do can be twisted and distorted and you are dealing with an evil people who have no case for the cause, no recourse but that of resorting to lies, distortion, and even violence.

                    EDIT: if you do decide to do something and you need support that you think we on here can provide, let me know. I'd be more than happy to lend a hand.
                    Last edited by Equity; 09-18-2018, 02:20 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I personally would no participate on that event...

                      But also no make any noticeable complain...

                      As Equity said, there is nothing to win and a lot to lose... so... in my opinion, just let it go.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mifune View Post
                        Well, that and I'm afraid that if they have any information from the domestic violence organization at the event then it's likely to present biased and inaccurate information. What really stood out to me was that they claimed that domestic violence is 80/20 male initiated. I'm sure they completely ignore the large percentage that is essentially mutual.
                        I get it, but what would you do if they do present biased information? Would you stand up and dispute it? Like most of us, it probably depends on how much you need your job.

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