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An open letter to Andrew.

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  • #16
    RE: An open letter to Andrew.

    Originally posted by MH RAant

    Andrew is special to me and he is forcing me to see through his eyes as a man as a condition for us communicating again without the middle party being the Internet and unidirectional to me only. I cannot lie I despise this process he has outlined and I say that to you only so you appreciate that primary motivation. I don't think I will change my beliefs ever so I do not want to go into this "Tour of reverses" as the poor girl who by ordeals of fire was lifted up by MHRAs from her serfdom and ignorance to one day
    Tracy, I'm fascinated by your turn of phrase here...on one hand loving Andrew but hating the process he is expecting from you. It implies you are a victim of his wims. I'm calling you out on this: - if you are doing this because you feel controlled, then don't do it. You have agency and choice to block emails from him and get on with your life as you see fit. If you are doing this out of free-will because you want to learn and understand, then drop the loathing and be prepared to approach this in the possibility that you may be mistaken in your position as a feminist. Use your intellect, not your emotions to guide you.
    Be still and cool in thine own mind and spirit.
    George Fox

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    • #17
      RE: An open letter to Andrew.

      We do have article from a transgender this may help you find your answers From woman to man to red pill
      Interested in men rights activism in the Sydney area ?
      Go to mensrightssydney.com

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      • #18
        RE: An open letter to Andrew.

        Originally posted by Aimee McGee

        Tracy, I'm fascinated by your turn of phrase here...on one hand loving Andrew but hating the process he is expecting from you. It implies you are a victim of his wims. I'm calling you out on this: - if you are doing this because you feel controlled, then don't do it. You have agency and choice to block emails from him and get on with your life as you see fit. If you are doing this out of free-will because you want to learn and understand, then drop the loathing and be prepared to approach this in the possibility that you may be mistaken in your position as a feminist. Use your intellect, not your emotions to guide you.
        To Aimee McGee.

        My emotions have me here out of love and my emotions have me wanting not to be here also. I am ruled by the greater of the two. Intellectually you are right, but that, with my time here, is smaller than the stronger part of my emotions also. If nothing else I will learn many things here by osmosis I am sure.

        Would you approach this with a similar possibility that you might be mistaken with your position as an MHRA if you decided to do a "tour of reverses" on an ultra feminist site?

        If you hesitate in your mind at that question (and that is perfectly expected for anyone in a polar opposite environment I'd think) then it could mean you agree, if partially? .

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        • #19
          RE: An open letter to Andrew.

          Tracy,
          Like most women who have gone through tertiary education since the 1970s, I've been exposed to feminist thought. What sat uncomfortably with me was the value placed on victimhood. Try as I did, I could not reconcile the narrative of oppression I heard with my experiences as a woman. No man had ever tried to oppress me, but by the time I was at University I had repeated experience of being othered by women because I did not fit into the narrow confines of 'normal' for a woman.
          I was fortunate to encounter through my faith community an alternative model of feminine identity which reinforced the one illustrated by the women in my family of origin, so I could be strong, outspoken and have a reason to avoid conforming to the conventions of feminine beauty.
          My journey until 3 years ago has been more or less solitary, with my activism targeting issues of disability, as it was disability that was part of the root cause of my experience of being other. I figured I could do something to help other disabled people feel less different than I did. It was love that had me seeking more information and advice. My beloved is a survivor of domestic abuse. I had need to understand a male experience of being unable to leave because he feared for his children. It was that seeking information that ultimately led me here to a group seeking equality for all individuals.
          Your fears that your web community will other you for being here are legitimate - but ultimately if a group can not tolerate the desire of members to challenge the status quo, it is not a group I'm prepared to be a part of. I've been there and done that most of my earlier life, and I don't have the need to repeat that experience.
          Here I can disagree with other folk, but as long as I avoid shaming language and do not threaten violence, I can stay. I had a very interesting and challenging experience with a post I made on hypergamy, which shifted my perspective from my original thinking, but it was because of rational debate not threats of being marginalised.
          So as you can see, I'm willing to use rational processes with testing if my thinking is mistaken, but I'm not going to be emotionally coerced into changing my mind.
          I suspect those on your forum would ban me rather than be prepared to address issues on those terms.
          Be still and cool in thine own mind and spirit.
          George Fox

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          • #20
            RE: An open letter to Andrew.

            Hi MH RAant
            Thank you for sharing.
            I can see you are dealing with a deep personal hurt and a difficult conflict.
            Being here is clearly a huge personal challenge for you.
            I am sorry to hear your pain and wish you well.
            I hope this forum can help you.
            Best wishes
            HnE
            Winter is coming.

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            • #21
              RE: An open letter to Andrew.

              It's nice to have you here MHRant. I'll say straight out that I admire you coming to what you thought was such a hostile place out of love for someone else and wanting to see through their eyes.
              It's clear you don't wish to be here and I have to echo Aimee's statements. It's easy to be guided by emotions and our prejudices, it's hard for us to admit we are wrong about things held so deeply. One of my favourite quotations applies to this situation:

              "And the Dwarf, hearing the names given in his own ancient tounge, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding".

              We aren't your enemy here, and despite what you have stated up front (and kudos to you on that), I don't see a feminist so much as a person going through something difficult in life and dealing with a lot of pain. And really, how could we not try to help?

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