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My name is Matt (age 34) and I am here because previously, I hadn't a clue that anything pertaining to men's rights advocacy even existed. The Red Pill documentary was something I've only recently had the privilege of watching and it was worth every penny. The documentary was how I found out about this site and I was eager to get involved in one form or another. I am still financially healing from my experiences, otherwise, I would make donations! I'm also very much interested in getting involved in terms of activism. If it weren't for my experiences, I probably would not have cared one way or the other.
I've had the opportunity to let off my steam in other forums and feel that I can now detail what brings me here without any negative emotions. So here goes. Soon after graduating from college in 2006, I found a decent job in the financial industry and proposed to my high school sweetheart. Shortly thereafter, I got her pregnant and we followed through. My son was born in 2007, yet his mother and I still were not married. A month after he was born, he went horribly lethargic and began to lose color all over his body...he got cold and relatively lifeless, and this was very alarming. We took him to a nearby hospital where he suddenly stopped breathing in my arms. Already knowing CPR for infants, children, and adults, I was able to revive him.
We later learned that he was suffering from a disease called Nephrogenic Diabetes Insipidus, which prevented his kidneys to be able to read the anti-diuretic hormone produced by the pituitary. So he was capable of rapidly dehydrating and it needed to be closely monitored. He needed a feeding tube and a machine to regulate his intake from the tube, which I largely maintained. Every night and multiple times throughout the day, he would pull the tube out, so I frequently had to lube up this tube, run it up his nose and down his throat. His mother couldn't do it and no one can blame her for that. At this point, I was working full time, also going to school for my master's degree and then coming home to care for our son and cook. Problem was that I wasn't emotionally available!
When he was three months old, doctors installed a port on the surface of his stomach (called a mickey button), which eliminated having to go through the heart-wrenching task of running the tube up his nose. Now it only needed to be snapped into this port on his belly, which saved a lot of time and effort. It was around this time that his mother threw me out and kept me from seeing my son. I was getting no updates and she simply would not let me see him. I filed paperwork with the family court and we went to some hearings. I wanted to establish regular support for my son as well as have rights to at least see him...this is when the mudslinging began. She told this judge that I was incapable of knowing how to be a father or how to love, that I was an alcoholic and that my whole family were alcoholics, that I did not know how to administer his medication or work with his equipment, and that he risked death if he so much as left her house or her presence. Obviously, none of this was true, but the judge acquiesced and gave me only one hour per week of supervised visitation at her house, and placed me with the financial responsibility of his child support, health insurance and unreimbursed medical expenses (which were staggering). She took him to the doctor for everything from a sniffle to passing gas and ran up these bills as much as possible. She even told the judge that my mother was a pedophile. She slandered not only me but my entire family. My father died in 2016 without ever having a relationship with his grandson. While he suffered from cancer, she still wouldn't let him see my son. She had the nerve to tell this judge that my father was a "fallen-down drunk" who was abusive and called our son names! My father was a 27-year veteran of the USAF, a test pilot for the Federal Aviation Administration, and a Freemason...but this judge outright believed that I was a scoundrel who came from a family of scoundrels.
I began attending parenting classes, for which I received a certificate. I also met with my son's visiting nurses at her house to get signed off for training on his equipment and how to care for him (which I already knew how to do). Suddenly, my friends began to shun or flat out ignore me. I learned that she had slandered me everywhere she went, including at my work, where I began to endure constant and daily harassment from my boss. She even slandered me to my son's doctors, who eventually saw the light when they met and interviewed me. "Was there another woman?", "were you drinking all the time?", "did you ever hit her?"...I couldn't believe my ears when I heard these questions. They wrote me letters of support and indicated in those letters that I was well-informed with regards to my son's condition and how to treat it, and I since took those letters to the court.
Then, she would change doctors! Not only did she change doctors, but she kept making them over an hour away...making each trip expensive for someone whose money was being taken on the regular and to the maximum. She would ask me to leave the doctor's office so that she could speak to the doctor, and I would refuse to go because I had a right to be there...then she would make a scene in the office and react like a teenaged child. Before long, she began making visitation very hard to achieve. She would reschedule it at the last minute, or she wouldn't answer the door! On many occasions, I would wait outside the house for nearly two hours before she would come to the door to tell me that my son was asleep and we had to reschedule. I fired my attorney when I wasn't gaining ground and represented myself.
I argued that she needed to be proactive and get our son on disability...which she ended up doing shortly thereafter. But I still was not getting any time with him...no quality time whatsoever. In 2008, the economy took a nose-dive and the financial industry melted down, resulting in me being laid off. I tried to get an adjustment to the child support due to my change in circumstance, but the judge would not allow it. So the arrears began to build up! Unemployment in my area was 30% and it was very hard to get a job anywhere, let alone in my areas of expertise. I had family in California, so I moved out there to become a teacher and to continue to pay child support...this was in 2011.
I would call her to try and talk to my son. At first, she would answer and say that he was asleep and could not talk. Then she stopped answering the phone entirely. After months of not being able to get a hold of her, she let me know that she was getting married and that she was moving out of State with my son. The reason she didn't answer the phone for me for three years was that she had met another man, whom she made my son call "daddy". When I finally got a chance to talk to my son in 2014, he called me "original daddy". At this point, I had given the last eight years of my life to child support and lived entirely within its grasp. I asked her if I could still have contact with my son, and she said that she didn't want him to "get confused". In 2016, it had been nearly ten years and I simply ran out of gas...I couldn't do it anymore. I broached the topic of adoption and she happily obliged because SSA accused her of having two husbands since she was being supported by me and her husband.
In 2016, the adoption went through and she refused to waive the $6,000 I had left in arrears, so I paid those off. The case was finally closed in mid-December of 2016 and, the ordeal was over...but the fight still goes on in my mind. I outlined these events with clarity, however, I left out the emotional rollercoasters and more of the vicious mudslinging. We had a female judge who simply believed everything she had to say and not a word of what I had to say. I lost all motivation to continue with anything in life, especially my career. I knew that any success I had in life, she was going to take most of it! She had already bought two new cars with my child support payments, went on cruises and funded other personal trips (while her parents babysat our son), and took my son out of state multitudes of time without telling me. I gave up on life.
During my days in the courts, she accused me of being a drunk, whoring around, partying all the time, smoking marijuana, etc. I eventually told myself that, "if I am going to be accused of having so much fun, I might as well be out doing it". This is exactly what I did and it sent my life into a spiral. I couldn't move on with my life because child support payments kept me from being able to date other women...and when I did date other women, they called me a "deadbeat" and accused me of abandoning my son. I realized life would never be normal for me, and thoughts of taking my own life went through my mind regularly. Now, I am afraid to have another relationship and even more afraid of becoming a father again...I don't want any of it... I consider myself ruined to a degree. Ruined, but educated and VERY well-informed.
Now, life is finally improving and I feel like I can at least excel professionally, and that is what I am doing now. Over the years, I've met other fathers who were going through the same nightmares and we commiserate from time to time. It is high time for radical reforms to be made to this corrupt family court system, and to bring the rights of men to a playing field that is level with women. I have other stories that relate to other experiences outlined in The Red Pill documentary, but this experience with the family courts is what made me identify with MRAs and with MGTOW. I hope to communicate with other members on this page and to hopefully play a role in MRA activism. I live in New England, now, and can make myself available for events should they take place in this region.
Thank you for hearing me out, and my sincerest apologies for such a long narrative.
I've had the opportunity to let off my steam in other forums and feel that I can now detail what brings me here without any negative emotions. So here goes. Soon after graduating from college in 2006, I found a decent job in the financial industry and proposed to my high school sweetheart. Shortly thereafter, I got her pregnant and we followed through. My son was born in 2007, yet his mother and I still were not married. A month after he was born, he went horribly lethargic and began to lose color all over his body...he got cold and relatively lifeless, and this was very alarming. We took him to a nearby hospital where he suddenly stopped breathing in my arms. Already knowing CPR for infants, children, and adults, I was able to revive him.
We later learned that he was suffering from a disease called Nephrogenic Diabetes Insipidus, which prevented his kidneys to be able to read the anti-diuretic hormone produced by the pituitary. So he was capable of rapidly dehydrating and it needed to be closely monitored. He needed a feeding tube and a machine to regulate his intake from the tube, which I largely maintained. Every night and multiple times throughout the day, he would pull the tube out, so I frequently had to lube up this tube, run it up his nose and down his throat. His mother couldn't do it and no one can blame her for that. At this point, I was working full time, also going to school for my master's degree and then coming home to care for our son and cook. Problem was that I wasn't emotionally available!
When he was three months old, doctors installed a port on the surface of his stomach (called a mickey button), which eliminated having to go through the heart-wrenching task of running the tube up his nose. Now it only needed to be snapped into this port on his belly, which saved a lot of time and effort. It was around this time that his mother threw me out and kept me from seeing my son. I was getting no updates and she simply would not let me see him. I filed paperwork with the family court and we went to some hearings. I wanted to establish regular support for my son as well as have rights to at least see him...this is when the mudslinging began. She told this judge that I was incapable of knowing how to be a father or how to love, that I was an alcoholic and that my whole family were alcoholics, that I did not know how to administer his medication or work with his equipment, and that he risked death if he so much as left her house or her presence. Obviously, none of this was true, but the judge acquiesced and gave me only one hour per week of supervised visitation at her house, and placed me with the financial responsibility of his child support, health insurance and unreimbursed medical expenses (which were staggering). She took him to the doctor for everything from a sniffle to passing gas and ran up these bills as much as possible. She even told the judge that my mother was a pedophile. She slandered not only me but my entire family. My father died in 2016 without ever having a relationship with his grandson. While he suffered from cancer, she still wouldn't let him see my son. She had the nerve to tell this judge that my father was a "fallen-down drunk" who was abusive and called our son names! My father was a 27-year veteran of the USAF, a test pilot for the Federal Aviation Administration, and a Freemason...but this judge outright believed that I was a scoundrel who came from a family of scoundrels.
I began attending parenting classes, for which I received a certificate. I also met with my son's visiting nurses at her house to get signed off for training on his equipment and how to care for him (which I already knew how to do). Suddenly, my friends began to shun or flat out ignore me. I learned that she had slandered me everywhere she went, including at my work, where I began to endure constant and daily harassment from my boss. She even slandered me to my son's doctors, who eventually saw the light when they met and interviewed me. "Was there another woman?", "were you drinking all the time?", "did you ever hit her?"...I couldn't believe my ears when I heard these questions. They wrote me letters of support and indicated in those letters that I was well-informed with regards to my son's condition and how to treat it, and I since took those letters to the court.
Then, she would change doctors! Not only did she change doctors, but she kept making them over an hour away...making each trip expensive for someone whose money was being taken on the regular and to the maximum. She would ask me to leave the doctor's office so that she could speak to the doctor, and I would refuse to go because I had a right to be there...then she would make a scene in the office and react like a teenaged child. Before long, she began making visitation very hard to achieve. She would reschedule it at the last minute, or she wouldn't answer the door! On many occasions, I would wait outside the house for nearly two hours before she would come to the door to tell me that my son was asleep and we had to reschedule. I fired my attorney when I wasn't gaining ground and represented myself.
I argued that she needed to be proactive and get our son on disability...which she ended up doing shortly thereafter. But I still was not getting any time with him...no quality time whatsoever. In 2008, the economy took a nose-dive and the financial industry melted down, resulting in me being laid off. I tried to get an adjustment to the child support due to my change in circumstance, but the judge would not allow it. So the arrears began to build up! Unemployment in my area was 30% and it was very hard to get a job anywhere, let alone in my areas of expertise. I had family in California, so I moved out there to become a teacher and to continue to pay child support...this was in 2011.
I would call her to try and talk to my son. At first, she would answer and say that he was asleep and could not talk. Then she stopped answering the phone entirely. After months of not being able to get a hold of her, she let me know that she was getting married and that she was moving out of State with my son. The reason she didn't answer the phone for me for three years was that she had met another man, whom she made my son call "daddy". When I finally got a chance to talk to my son in 2014, he called me "original daddy". At this point, I had given the last eight years of my life to child support and lived entirely within its grasp. I asked her if I could still have contact with my son, and she said that she didn't want him to "get confused". In 2016, it had been nearly ten years and I simply ran out of gas...I couldn't do it anymore. I broached the topic of adoption and she happily obliged because SSA accused her of having two husbands since she was being supported by me and her husband.
In 2016, the adoption went through and she refused to waive the $6,000 I had left in arrears, so I paid those off. The case was finally closed in mid-December of 2016 and, the ordeal was over...but the fight still goes on in my mind. I outlined these events with clarity, however, I left out the emotional rollercoasters and more of the vicious mudslinging. We had a female judge who simply believed everything she had to say and not a word of what I had to say. I lost all motivation to continue with anything in life, especially my career. I knew that any success I had in life, she was going to take most of it! She had already bought two new cars with my child support payments, went on cruises and funded other personal trips (while her parents babysat our son), and took my son out of state multitudes of time without telling me. I gave up on life.
During my days in the courts, she accused me of being a drunk, whoring around, partying all the time, smoking marijuana, etc. I eventually told myself that, "if I am going to be accused of having so much fun, I might as well be out doing it". This is exactly what I did and it sent my life into a spiral. I couldn't move on with my life because child support payments kept me from being able to date other women...and when I did date other women, they called me a "deadbeat" and accused me of abandoning my son. I realized life would never be normal for me, and thoughts of taking my own life went through my mind regularly. Now, I am afraid to have another relationship and even more afraid of becoming a father again...I don't want any of it... I consider myself ruined to a degree. Ruined, but educated and VERY well-informed.
Now, life is finally improving and I feel like I can at least excel professionally, and that is what I am doing now. Over the years, I've met other fathers who were going through the same nightmares and we commiserate from time to time. It is high time for radical reforms to be made to this corrupt family court system, and to bring the rights of men to a playing field that is level with women. I have other stories that relate to other experiences outlined in The Red Pill documentary, but this experience with the family courts is what made me identify with MRAs and with MGTOW. I hope to communicate with other members on this page and to hopefully play a role in MRA activism. I live in New England, now, and can make myself available for events should they take place in this region.
Thank you for hearing me out, and my sincerest apologies for such a long narrative.
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